I am Trying, I promise

I am so sad today, and I do not know why.
I think my body tricks me, tries to get me to do the thigns I have escaped. *sigh* I have been thinking too much lately. My head hurts.
I think that me trying to run away from my past is too much for me. I can't escape it. I don't want to be known as THAT Allie anymore. I want it to go away and stay there...
Maybe I am not making much sense. "I'll explain it when you're older. " :)
There is a song that I have been listening to a lot lately..."White Days" By The Juliana Theory. I didn't spell their name right, but you get the idea. Blame this song on Cameron. Its moving me and every time I hear it, its like I am hearing it for the first time...Corny, I know.
These are the lyrics:
rise before the sun
we'll leave when it lifts
the show must go on
so we start on the run
buy us meal
or buy us some time
if we want to arrive there
look ahead at the road
you can't see a thing
but maybe we'll make it before it's too late
there is no time to wait
turn, turn on the lights
as they drive by
worked on the side
keep your eyes on the road
hands on the wheel
don't let us slip
this is almost a nightmare
turn, turn on the heat
they can't feel a thing
as I fall asleep
keep your eyes off the white
don't let us die tonight
white days like this I’ll never miss
they only come once a year
feel the passing of day
where nothing has changed
night has determined to force us away
buy me a room
with bed and amuse this is almost resourceful
stop, don't hit the breaks
they don't do a thing
we made it to nowhere with no time to spare
no one said life was fair
white days like this I’ll never miss
they only come once a year